The man in me will do nearly any task
As for compensation, there's a little he will ask
Take a woman like you
To get through to the man in me.
Storm clouds are raging all around my door
I think to myself I might not take it anymore
Take a woman like your kind
To find the man in me.
But, oh what a wonderful feeling
Just to know that you are near
It sets my heart a-reeling
From my toes up to my ears.
The man in me will hide sometimes to keep from being seen
But that's just because he doesn't want to turn into some machine
Take a woman like you
To get through to the man in me.
Bob Dylan, The man in me
New Morning, 1970
It's not because l am helplessly in love with his imperfect profile and his out-of-tune singing. That could be part of the reason, but Mr Zimmerman has really got something to say to us here and it's not just about another love song. I am not aware if he did it consciously or not, but with these few lyrics he brought up such a Universal topic that l have the suspect that it cannot be just by accident ( like it never is with him).
"The man in me" is the quintessence of the whole Male/Female, Yin/Yang, Shiva /Shakti topic and l am still amazed at how Dylan managed to put it into words in such a real, honest and touching way. But then again, this is exactly why he is an unmistakable genius, l guess.
It takes a woman, mind that - not a girl- to get through a man, he tells us.
The male energy can only reach its highest potential when it meets its female polarity at its best.Therefore we need both energies in balance to truly express our essence at its fullest.
To embrace our other side doesn't necessarily mean that we have to go around desperately in search of a quick fix. Actually, it's pretty much the opposite. It might take quite a while before we can surrender and let that energy get through us. Embracing our vulnerability, both as women and men, can be a hard task indeed. We need to see clearly into our flaws, our limits, our imperfections and yet accept and nourish them kindly before we can truly let someone else in. We also need to be bravely humble to say frankly, "This is me and this is my shadow. We coexist and we will always do". Until we don't make peace with the idea that darkness and light are intrinsically bond to each other we will be probably hostile to the idea of surrending to another being.
Part of the mindfulness practice has to do with that, with the progressive ability to see things as they are without judging them or getting tangled in our quick evaluations. We slowly start accepting that we are humans and that we are supposed to be surfing our emotions all the time. The ability by which we do it is what we try to improve through the practice. What some time ago seemed so frustrating, today might just look like another challenge, a good way to develop new skills. What yesterday made us feel limited or small, now it's just an aspect of who we are with no permanent label on it. Embracing our nature and saying yes to our imperfections is part of the path. Delivering those imperfections to the person in front of us is also part of it. It takes courage, it takes compassion, it takes practice.
Obviously such a delicate task becomes way easier when we encounter someone who is also willing to open up and show their truth to us. Yet, the work always starts with ourselves first. This is why the practice of Metta, the Buddhist loving-kindness meditation, usually begins with sending thoughts of good will to ourselves. Next, we expand those same wishes to others, not just to the ones we like or care for, but also to the ones we struggle with, surely not a slice of cake.
It is not until we learn how to be truly compassionate towards ourselves that we can be so to others.
When Dylan admits that he cannot take it anymore, he is being barely honest, he is not being afraid to show his shadow to the woman in front of him. And by doing so, he is also embracing his female side within, his passive, less fiercy one. He is not interested in playing games, in putting on his masks according to what Society expects of a man to be like. He is simply human. And he longs for belonging just the way he is. With his storm clouds, his vulnerability, his fear of being seen.
What a gift. Having in front of us someone who is not afraid to be themselves. It's liberating. It makes us feel free to do the same. It teaches us the real meaning of unconditional love. As Thich Nhat Hanh suggests, "Darling, l am here for you" is sometimes all we need to hear. But acknowledging the presence, the
emotional nearness of the one in front of us, is equally important. "Darling, l know you are there" is all we sometimes need to say.
Embracing our wounds makes us more inclined to do the same with the wounds of the people we meet and share our lives with. Accepting all those moments of non-awakening as part of our awakening is necessary for our growth and allows the person in front of us to grow too.
So, next time you feel you are tangled up in blue, do yourself a favor. Embrace your blueness, bless Mr Zimmerman and play this song.